wanting change

Sometimes a passage of Scripture comes across your path more than once in a short time causing you to stop and really reflect on it. For me it’s been the first part of John 5. As I kept hearing and seeing it, I recalled listening to a sermon recently on it as well. From last spring our pastor spoke of the healing that Jesus was doing but challenged us to look beyond the physical.

Jesus brought healing in more than one way, and physical healing wasn’t always the primary one though often was the most readily noticed. Other areas where we need healing include our identities, and our emotional, spiritual and relational health. In the case of John 5:1-9a, though physical healing takes place, seeing the wholeness Jesus was offering the man beside the pool is worth diving into.

The lame man, along with all the others around that pool would have been there as no other options for healing were working or available. You would be hoping to be the lucky one to get in first when the water started to randomly bubble, not wanting to leave the poolside to do anything else unless you missed your opportunity.

It is quite striking to look at Jesus’ question to the man who had been lame for 38 years. “Do you want to be healed?” Only to this man is it recorded that Jesus asked one who was to be healed this question.

You would think the obvious answer would be, “Of course! That is why I am here! It’s my last hope, this local legend of healing when the waters bubble…. Yes!! I want to be healed!”

That’s not how the man answered Jesus. He never actually answers what he was asked. Rather, he replies more with statements: “My life is hard, I am unable to get to the pool before the others beat me to it. I can’t.” In other words, “I’ve gotten used to being dependent and am familiar with just sitting here, friendless, avoiding the hard work of responsibilities. The risk of putting effort into mending relationships,and creating circumstances to produce a good life seems overwhelming, not anything I want to struggle through. I’m scared of changing, of being well. No one expects anything of me if I remain as I am, it is easier to stay unwell.”

So Jesus asking the man about being well is as much or more about every other aspect than physical. “Do you really want what I’m offering? Do you really want to be set free from what snares you? Do you really want life to change with becoming whole?”

Jesus calls the man to live a reformed life, to not only get up (be healed physically) but to take up his mat and walk (do his own work, take on responsibilities etc). Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is there to provide the needed strength and courage to follow in Jesus’ footsteps.

I wonder if we too might be stuck in a comfortable restrictive situation. The idea of truly repenting and transforming into Christ-likeness can be paralyzing. May we have the strength to ask for the mere desire for the wholeness and healing Jesus offers, as He would love to make you whole.

from ‘me’ to ‘we’

When I moved to Calgary I made a friend at the church I decided to try out and although I have since moved to join my now husband at his church, I am still good friends with Svea. We are an unlikely pair, as she and I are about as different as they come apart from our love of Jesus, crafting and gardening. Her outgoing personality leads her to many interesting connections, along with her previous long held job as manager of a convenience store, sharing life and Jesus with all who come across her path.

I have come to admire her “tell it like it is” attitude with people but also with Jesus. Her prayer life is honest and full of trust. The stories she shares of how our Heavenly Father has shown up again and again with the perfect provisions and answers to prayers always encourages my own faith journey.

Recently she said she changed how she was praying for a long standing issue in her life, a vice she was wanting to be rid of. Rather than having prayers with the personal pronouns of I and me, “Help me kick this” or “Give me strength” or “I can do this through you”, she changed her whole perspective. “We will kick this habit” and “Through You, we will work through this.” Now it was centered on the dependence needed through the Holy Spirit and His power not our individual strength. Even if our strength was in seeking to use God’s power, it was still our own will power striving for that first step in getting things done.

It’s been six months since she’s swapped “me” for “we” in her prayers and it has been that same length of time since she’s been bothered with her bad habit. Moving from our own will power to resting in His strength to initiate the carrying out of His will and bringing Him glory is freeing and powerful. May we trust Jesus enough to have our own paradigm shift to better do life WITH him.

A resource I have read not long ago was Skye Jethani’s book “With” which runs along the same train of thought for how we think of our spiritual relationship and live it out. It’s a great book and easy read, one I’d encourage you to take in if you’re wanting to learn more on the topic.

praying in His presence

Yesterday was a lovely Sunday. Time with family, cooking and baking with my mom, great church service, and refreshing evening breeze to help the day wind down.

At church the music and sermon were centered around being in God’s presence, and how that is one of the main goals of how we are to pray. So often we limit ourselves to the “eyes closed, head bowed” dedicated time of listening and talking to God for the definition of prayer. This is a very important part of it to be sure. Seeking out and just being in the presence of our Almighty and loving God is another aspect though which also takes time and practice.

When we recognize this as part of how we can “pray without ceasing,” that command from Scripture is no longer quite as daunting. Learning to see God in the ordinary of everyday-ness, as well as marvel at the obvious miracles, enhances our sensitivity to what He is doing around and even through us to further His kingdom.

Allowing our minds to be open to the Holy Spirit’s direction and lead to see God as the omnipotent and omniscient being that He is, is a practice worth developing. There’s a growth all of it’s own kind when we’re in the presence of our Lord. A type of spiritual maturity that develops, becoming ever more holy, and we’re called to cultivate it. A fancy word for that would be sanctification, an ever ongoing process this side of heaven.

Here’s to “time well spent” with Jesus, whether with words of our own, borrowed, or none at all, as we pray.

written prayers

There are many ways to commune with God. Dwelling in portions of Scripture, being in nature, pretty much any form of art that aids in your expressing yourself… For me, it is writing. Nearly all of what I write will never be read by anyone but myself which I am perfectly fine with. It is nearly all for myself to remember things, or get things out of my head, to see thoughts concretely so to speak.

This is likely totally theologically unsound, but since I was a little girl I have imagined having an actual guardian angel. Not always do I perceive it to be “physically near” as I am not sure how to envision the spiritual realm. I have named her though and have been writing to her on and off since my early teens. Often when I write to Essie (short of Esther), it is as much a prayer as it is a form of writing a friend. She already knows what life has been like, what’s going on around me, but putting pen to paper is a form of release.

Lately I have been appreciating praying using Scripture, especially the Psalms. It got me thinking though, how long did it take the author to write the entirety of that particular psalm? Sometimes they start so dark and desperate, yet nearly always end in praise and thanksgiving. Part of me wants to think it was written all in one go. My experience however often has a bit of a gap from the “crying out” portion to the praise-filled ending. I am very grateful to know the Rock of our Salvation is always there with His unfailing love, it just sometimes takes my own heart some melting/repenting time to appreciate that truth.

Two psalms that seem good examples of this kind of turn around are Psalm 28 (more general) and Psalm 73 (about perspective). Seeing the psalmist come from the wandering shadows to entering God’s presence encourages me to do the same, and know that it’s possible. No matter how prodigal we feel, He will always be waiting with loving open arms for a big embrace.

I finally let myself have a good chunk of time to get some things written to Essie. Whether it was my acknowledging things I wanted to avoid, knowing Jesus is there loving me through it all, or just letting toxic thoughts get it out of my head/be expressed, soon afterward my heart was greatly calmed. I didn’t have to pretend the joy and peace that’s expected, I could express true thankfulness for God’s mercies. I pray that however you are able to spend time with Jesus, that you do take that time, allowing yourself to get to the end of the psalm where you can proclaim God’s faithfulness.

protection

We were camping this past week in an area of our province that has been experiencing quite a drought. The area is prone to being dry anyway but this season has been notable.

Though it was dry I didn’t expect to have to watch where we were hiking for these beauties!

cactus at Little Bow Provincial Park, Alberta, Canada

It is important to keep your precious resources protected, whether keeping your water your own with spines, or your prayer time with calendar appointments. As summer finishes up, it is more important than ever to re-establish routines that can continue in through fall, identifying what is worth protecting in your life.

Having healthy habits can be a much needed anchor especially for those who experience anxiety with disruptions to expected itineraries. With a new school year approaching that brings new expectations, teachers and classmates, having the rhythm of regular activities return will be a blessing for lessening anxiety. Known / expected bed times, Bible reading time, family meals, and other regular activities are part of our August plans to allow for a strong fall.

What do you do to minimize anxiety during change? How do you protect what is important to you?

May I leave you with some favourite verses as a benediction and prayer of encouragement from Ephesians 3:16-20

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.