music ringing true

This week on my commute I put on the album “The Hymn Project” by Buller, Balzer & Aichele, and their version of “I’d Rather Have Jesus”  on repeat. Hearing the lyrics over and over, made me think about how truthfully I could repeat them.

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold,
I’d rather be His than have riches untold
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or land,
Yes, I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand.

Than to be the king of a vast domain
And be held in sin’s dread sway
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today. (chorus)

I’d rather have Jesus than worldly applause,
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause
I’d rather have Jesus than worldwide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name.

He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom,
He’s sweeter than honey from out the comb;
He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,
I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead.

The truth of my answer hurts. So often I want other things. Maybe not to be king, or seek man’s applause. But it breaks my heart to realize the inferior sweetness of honey (really, snacks/treats in general), allusion of control of my circumstances, relishing and lingering too much in comfort; these are in idolized places in my life.

My Bible was open to Psalm 34 but I ended up reading the nearby chapter that spoke to my ache in the above admitted condition of my heart.

“Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time,
that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
For you are my hiding place;
you protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory.” Psalm 32:5-7

Jesus longs for us to return to Him. Time and agian you can see in the parables He tells, He wants us to do a complete about face from where we had been going and turn instead to our soverign King, loving Shephard, gracious Saviour, abiding Friend, Himself. We are to shout His praise in anticiaption of the known coming victory, whether that be looking forward to the release of the bondage of sugar addiction, or the walls of Jericho falling down after the loud shout of praise from the people. (Joshua 6:20)

The chorus of another hymn comes to mind in which is Jesus speaking to us:

“‘Come home, come home. All you who weary, come home!’ Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling, calling ‘Oh sinner, come home.'”

I know that He is faithful to forgive (1John 1:9), and pray that in the Spirit’s power I will be able to continue to turn my eyes toward Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith. (Hebrews 12).

As an older chorus says,

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

What beautiful words! I am very thankful to have so many songs with Biblical lyrics running through my head, encouraging me and providing words when I don’t know how to express myself.

The devotional I had today ended with a prayer written by Wendy Speake in her 40 Day Sugar Fast book, worth ending with: “I choose to set my face toward You today. As I wait to see You move, I will sing Your praises and eagerly anticipate Your deliverance. In Jesus’s name, Amen”

reset

Confessions time.

For all the possibilities and opportunities for staying tuned in spiritually, I’ve been doing a poor job lately. It’s not for lack of awareness. My social media is ripe with Bible verses, devotionals and posts about Jesus. My music play list is either nature or worship songs and Bible related podcasts. There’s something deeper that’s not wanting to respond, and that’s the part that finally made me stop and assess.

As the silly but true saying goes “just because you’re in a garage, it does not make you a car” – Yes, the thoughts and teachings of Jesus are all around me, but am I really affected by it?

A part of my heart has become prideful and lazy at the same time, developing a callous to the desire to spend one on one time with my Bible or in prayer. Relationships start to fade if not given time and effort and my relationship with Jesus is suffering.

Being convicted of this, and actually wanting to do something about  (not shove the feeling aside this time) I’ve decided to do a couple things.

The “40 day sugar fast” I participated in back in January was wonderful for my soul. I am going to start my own 40 days, starting today. If nothing else, go through those verses they had and devotionals, while turning my distracted and false cravings to the only One who can truly satisfy.

I would also like to finish off writing out the book of John, that I started during Lent. (sorry if you thought that was already done, I kept finding other “more important/urgent” things to do… sigh, how easily I believe those lies!)
It’s never too late to come back to the open arms of Jesus, who’s always waiting for us with unconditional love. (Luke 15:11-32, Psalm 143:8, Micah 7:18, Hebrews 10:23-25, Ephesians 3:16-19, Romans 13:14)

Thank you for your faithfulness Jesus!

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

-Thomas Chisholm

hunger

I don’t like being hungry. I kind of knew that already, but I didn’t realize the lengths to which I’d go to avoid that feeling. The sugar fast I’ve been doing has made me so much more aware, not only of what I’m consuming, but just how much I eat or drink.  Being hungry in and of itself is not a bad thing. It can be awkward, and moods can be affected if you’re not getting enough. However, there’s a difference between mood altering hunger and not being full.

The fast has reiterated through a number of their daily devotionals that sometimes we need to be aware of our physical hunger to help us understand what we’re really craving – more Jesus.

It’s been eye opening to realize I head to my pantry when my heart is really wanting me to take a moment to pray, or soak in God’s wonderful Word. Though slow to admit this to myself, and here, it’s been a step in the right directly of growing my relationship with Jesus more intentionally, rather than figuring out what snack is healthy enough to not feel guilty over.

I can’t deny I’m looking forward to allowing a treat now and then when these 40 days are up. I am very grateful for the opportunity to reset, repent, and continue my journey of transformation into His likeness.

 

An excerpt from today’s devotional from Christie Thomas on the 40 Day Sugar Fast Team.

“This week my 3 year old heard the parable of the lost sheep, and he told it to me with gusto (while stumbling over most of the words). I asked him what the shepherd did when the sheep got lost, and my looked at me like it was the dumbest question in the world. Without hesitation, he told me, “He found da sheep.”

Friend, you and I can get so lost, even during this fast. Just this week, I lost myself to complaints, grumbling and wishing that I hadn’t gotten myself into this crazy-fast yet again. But even in the midst of my bad attitude, God gently drew me back toward himself.

There’s more than one way to be lost. We can get lost in our bad attitudes and apathy, lost in our addictions (like a food addiction!), or lost in pain. We all, like sheep, have gone astray. None of us is content to sit in the fold all the time. But our Maker and Shepherd doesn’t even hesitate.

He finds us.

We may not always want to be found, and we may not always turn around to see the Shepherd beckoning to us. But that’s what this fast is all about. We’re finally aware of just how far we’ve wandered and just how lost we are. “I got a little lost in sugar-land” is all we can mutter, when we realize that the Shepherd has been right here with us, gazing fondly at us the whole time. We didn’t recognize Him — and that makes us different from true sheep! They recognize the shepherds face, and His nearness.

…We often laugh about the silliness of sheep, but at least sheep know their master’s voice and face! We prefer to tune out the soft voice of our Shepherd, choosing instead to live out of our own strength or out of our addictions. But God’s promise is that He will always find us. He will “find da sheep”. We just have to turn around and run into His waiting arms.”

fasting – starting to learn

My lessons I’m sure are just beginning. The 40 Day Sugar Fast I began on January 8th, I was anticipating having a diet and devotional time for a little over a month, getting on track food wise after the holiday season being the primary thought.

In the devotionals that the ladies have been sharing. the leaders emphasized the meaning of the title “fast”. If I may quote from a video Wendy Speake gave today (rough transcription), it really helped refocus on the purpose of these 40 days I signed up for.

“We don’t want you to diet right now. This, is not a diet, the desire is that you would join us for a fast. And fasting means not eating. Not seeing how close you can get to not eating something but still be very satisfied and being very tricky in the kitchen, and … how can I make ____ still taste really good so that I’m not really sad. That’s not the point.

The point is that you’re going without and you should feel a hunger. You should feel a physical hunger. If you have been coming to sugar for the wrong reasons, you should feel an emotional hunger. You should feel sad. You should feel lonely.  You should feel unfulfilled if you have been coming to sugar (or food in general) for the wrong reasons. Let yourself go hungry.

This is my permission, my invitation to hunger so that you might transfer, not sugar to stevia, but transfer the hunger you were getting satisfied from one area and saying “Lord, I’ve got these holes in me.  I’m in desperate need of you. Satisfy me. Your Word tells me that you are the only thing able to satisfy me. It tells me your word is sweet like honey, so I want to experience that. The only way I can is to not to go from sugar to stevia, but to go from sugar to you, Jesus.””

It’s helping me see, that though I’ve been good so far to avoid the refined sugars, though I have been full these three days so far, I have been turning to other foods, albeit healthier, to keep filling those holes.

I’ll leave you with another quote shared today in the group. It really resonated with me, and I pray it will be true as these next days unfold.

Let your hunger pangs become like church bells calling you to prayer.              (Bill Gaultiere)

40 days

This is an interesting amount of time. Long enough that one must really commit, but not so long that your mind thinks it is impossible. Lent will be coming soon enough, which is also 40 days, but for me, starting January 8th I’ll be doing a 40 day sugar fast. A friend introduced me to a group of ladies that has been doing these fasts before and it intrigued me mostly because of their end goal – to turn to Jesus, not sugar. “Ask Him to speak to you about anything in your kitchen that you’re running to in a frenzied or habitual attempt to satisfy your soul’s deep hunger, and then give it to Him as an offering.” (Wendy Speake)

More Jesus. Only Jesus. He is truly sufficient.

If you’d like to join as well, please do! Wendy Speake heads up the group, along with some other ladies, and all are welcome. 40 Day Sugar Fast

There is one quote that has stuck with me and prompted me to dive into this adventure.

“As you go without sugar, it is my hope that you turn to the sweetest Someone who longs to fellowship with you. Abide with Him. Stop filling your belly and your life, so that you might fill your Spirit with the One who gave you the sweetest life. Feast on Him. ”

No new year resolutions here, just a continuing journey of seeking Jesus more. I’d be interested to hear what works for you, and I’ll be sure to share how this works for me.